I got a text out of the blue, “can I call you now!” Although I was in the middle of something, I accepted the call. This sister was in tears over her adult children. She spent enormous amounts of money, time and worry trying to help her children. She told me some of their decisions kept her up at night stressed out and scared for their future.

This sister was heavily struggling with what I call “secondary worry.” “Secondary worry” like second hand smoke can be very dangerous. “Secondary worry” occurs when we suffer the effects of worry due to us carrying the load that someone else should be responsible and accountable for managing themselves.

As I am listening to this sister, I can definitely relate to her and I understand what a difficult place this can be. When we “wear” someone else’s worry it can wear us out!  I know you’ve probably heard it a thousand times, “stop worrying about other people’s issues, even if the other people are your children.” So how do we not “wear” the worry of someone we love? How do you get out of God’s way and trust that He is aware of and active in the lives of our loved ones?

In order for me to really minimize “secondary worry” (you noticed I said minimize, that’s because as a mom I’m not sure if this will completely go away..LOL). I had to really get a grasp on and understand that God is sovereign. That is, there is absolutely nothing that happens that is outside of God’s influence and authority. When I say I had to grasp on to this understanding, I mean I had to not just understand it intellectually and theologically. But I had to understand it without question. Whew!! That was a hard eye opener.

Once I fully grasped the oh so important aspect of God’s sovereignty it gave me courage to get out the way. The following are reminders to help me not just get out of the way, but stay out of the way:

*God is above all things and before all things. He is the alpha and the omega. He is present everywhere so that everyone can know Him (Revelation 21:6).

*God created all things both in heaven and on earth, both visible and invisible (Colossians 1:16).

*There is no limit to God’s knowledge, for God knows everything completely before it happens. (Romans 11:33).

*God can do all things and accomplish all things. Nothing is too difficult for God. (Jeremiah 32:17).

*God has power and authority over all things (Psalm 103:19).

*God’s sovereignty calls for our submission. He loves us and wants the best for us (Romans 8:28).

*God’s sovereignty provides us with comfort. Consequently, no matter what you face in life, you can take comfort in the fact that God is sovereign (Psalm 23:4; Psalm 23:6).

*God is sovereign over our suffering. The ultimate reason suffering exit is so that Christ might display the greatness of the glory of the grace of God by suffering in himself to overcome our suffering

(Romans 8:18).

PEARLStoPONDER: Other people’s issue will always exist and “secondary worry “might always be lurking around the corner. But the joy in all of it is, we have a sovereign God who is faithful and just. So just get out the way!