Hurting Should Not Equate to Hurting

by Cynthia Jennings on January 8, 2020
Hurting Should Not Equate to Hurting

Raise your hand if someone has hurt you. That looks like all of us. Now, what do you do with the hurt done to you? Are you a wounded woman who wounds?

You often hear the expression, “hurting people hurt.” But should that be the case? I get it we live in a world where hurts happen intentionally and unintentionally. Some with malicious intent and others due to ignorance. Oftentimes those deep seeded hurts are caused by those closest to us. Regardless of where or whom the hurts stems. Is your initial response vehemently lashing out or do you hold on so tight to the hurt with clenched fist and teeth? {The clinched teeth fist and teeth was me, so much so to the point where I would be physically ill}.  Which response is best? And which response is better for our mental, physical and spiritual health? The answer is subjective to the person on the receiving end of the hurt.

I don’t want you to think for a moment that I’m writing this blog because I’ve never been hurt or have never caused hurt. Nor am I advocating remaining in any toxic relationship. I’m writing out of reflection. Not so much reflection on the past (and its’ hurts), but more so reflecting on the future as to how I desire to handle hurt now and going forth.

I understand some hurts are attached to trauma and we must use wisdom as to how we interact with that person. For some they think the best way to deal with hurt is to hurt others. But how beneficial is it to you and are you willing to continue that same detrimental habitual pattern of hurt and how you deal with hurt? Are you willing to self-reflect and learn new habits as the giver or receiver when it comes to hurt and hurting?

The first step in your journey of renewing your mind concerning hurt and hurting is to revisit your expectations of how you deal with others and what you will accept from others. The following six questions is a starting point to help you analyze your current expectations and a thought process to renew your expectations. View each question in the state of how you dealt with hurt/hurting in the past and how you want to deal with hurt/hurting with a renewed mind.

1. What does it mean to “love your enemies” according to Matthew 5:38-45?
2. According to the Bible what is love?
3. Why is it impossible to love our enemies in our own strengthen? So, how can/should we love them?
4. What is “tough love?” When is tough love necessary in conflict or toxic relationships? Have you ever experience having to love someone this way? Was this beneficial to you?
5. Distinguish between simple, foolish, and evil women. How have you dealt with each type of women? Which ones were the easiest/difficult to love? Why?

After taking some time to ponder over and answering these questions do another self-reflection. Ask yourself in what areas have you grown and what areas you need to work on to not become a woman who wounds.
PEARLStoPONDER: Self-reflection is the best reflection that leads to emotional, physical and spiritual healing.

Colossians 3:12-16--12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
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