If asked if I’m picky, I’ll say no. I think I’m flexible and open-minded, and I hope most people find that I’m easy and pleasant to be around. But if you ask me if I’m particular, well that’s a different story.

I’m particular about how my dishes/pots are stacked in the cabinet, because for me it’ easier to mentally know where everything is. I’m particular about how my spices are stacked in the cabinet, they have to be stacked and grouped according to how I use them in meal prep. I’m particular about time, if I’m scheduled to be someplace at a specific time, I’d rather arrive at least 15 minutes early because for me running late is not only my pet peeve, running late also makes me anxious. But to be honest it makes me feel out of control.

Being particular is normal. We all have our preferences. It’s when those personal particularities become cemented in our minds as the only way to do things that’s when we cross over into the arena of control! Ouch!!!! Yeah, that hit me in the mouth too.

My preferences are typically harmless, but if not kept in check they can quietly accumulate and escalate. When my typically harmless preferences escalate, I find I have crossed over into the ugly arena of control.  It’s what happens when I rearrange the dishes/pots mumbling to myself don’t they see how this is stacked. It’s the immediate urge to rearrange the spices if I see one out of place. And it’s the self-righteous discontent/anger that surfaces when someone knows I have to be someplace at a specific time, they’re lagging and to me it appears as if they don’t care. Anxiety rises like hot air. When in reality the lag could be God trying to protect us from something or indirectly letting me know He’s in control.

Control is an ugly beast. Let’s admit, {I had to} …. control makes us feel powerful. It allows me to be responsible for me, and that feels better than trusting. If not careful, control will cause you to hurt and disregard others.

Control assumes I know best, but what God whispers (or often hollers) “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).  

Relinquishing control {of even the smallest things} takes humility. Letting go of the need for our way allows space for God to have His way in us. Releasing control makes room for new growth. Relinquishing control even over typically harmless preferences is so liberating!

Do you have typically harmless preferences that have crossed over into the ugly arena of control?
 

PEARLStoPONDER: Lord, I come to You aware of my foolishness in thinking I know best. I confess this tendency to control, and I open my hands in surrender to You. Your way is always better. Remind me that You are here for me and I am not on my own. You are Adonai, the God who rules. Remind me to be still before You and know that You are God. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Job 12:10--In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.

Proverbs 14:12--There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death,

Matthew 6:34--Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble

Matthew 19:26--But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

John 14:27--Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Romans 8:28--And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,^[a] for those who are called according to his purpose.