Reactions! Reactions! Reactions!
by Cynthia Jennings on August 14, 2019Reactions! Reactions! Reactions!
We’ve all been in situations where we react/speak prior to thinking. Immediately we think, “why did I react/say that!!??” “Yeah they had it coming and I finally got a chance to get it off my chest.” All of that might be factual. However, as a woman (Believer) could you have reacted differently? My thoughts after reacting rashly, “What if what I said is a stumbling block to this woman and causes her to revert to old ways?” Or “what if my reaction prevents her from ever wanting to know Christ?
Words can and do hurt! Reactions can and will hinder not just the other person but you as well. You see a number pop up on your phone. Your heart begins to race and the adrenaline rises. You think, now is the time to prove how right I was, point out all her flaws and make her feel me. So, I let her have it!!! Don’t cringe… we have all been at that point in our lives. And at that point in letting her have it you also experienced a whooping headache or upset stomach.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying conversations should not happen, and I’m not saying the conversation may not get heated. But even in the midst of a heated conversation we should be aware of our aggravated intensified reaction and try to be intentional on not reacting or saying something that will be detrimental to self and the other woman.
Ok, I know none of us are perfect… it happened and our aggravated intensified reaction caused detrimental conflict. So now what? Instead of having the “I’ll show you” reaction, ask yourself the following questions:
1. What part of the issue/conflict can I own and apologize for?
Make peace with the part you need to and own it. Apologize for it and there is a greater chance the conversation will remain calm. (Proverbs 15: 1)
2. How can I soften my heart toward this person so I honor them despite how they react?
I know this one can be challenging. Oftentimes the hurt from the other person toward you has nothing to do with you. Softening your heart makes it easier to sympathize with the hurt you don’t see thus minimizing the aggravated intensified reaction. (Proverbs 29:23)
3. If you knew the conversation was being recorded and then shared with people you greatly respect; how would that change your reaction?
In today’s world you really don’t know if you’re being recorded or not. Do you really want your aggravated intensified reaction on display for the world to see? Even if the conversation was never recorded, somebody saw/heard your reaction. Do you want your reaction to be a stumbling block to self or the other woman? (Philippians 4:5)
With all that being said. No two conflicts are the same and they all encompass unknown variables. The point I want to iterate is we want to be cognizant of our reactions in the short term so we don’t live in “reaction regret” in the long term.
PEARLStoPONDER: Conflicts will occur in life. What’s your reaction to conflict?
James 1:19-20--- 19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
We’ve all been in situations where we react/speak prior to thinking. Immediately we think, “why did I react/say that!!??” “Yeah they had it coming and I finally got a chance to get it off my chest.” All of that might be factual. However, as a woman (Believer) could you have reacted differently? My thoughts after reacting rashly, “What if what I said is a stumbling block to this woman and causes her to revert to old ways?” Or “what if my reaction prevents her from ever wanting to know Christ?
Words can and do hurt! Reactions can and will hinder not just the other person but you as well. You see a number pop up on your phone. Your heart begins to race and the adrenaline rises. You think, now is the time to prove how right I was, point out all her flaws and make her feel me. So, I let her have it!!! Don’t cringe… we have all been at that point in our lives. And at that point in letting her have it you also experienced a whooping headache or upset stomach.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying conversations should not happen, and I’m not saying the conversation may not get heated. But even in the midst of a heated conversation we should be aware of our aggravated intensified reaction and try to be intentional on not reacting or saying something that will be detrimental to self and the other woman.
Ok, I know none of us are perfect… it happened and our aggravated intensified reaction caused detrimental conflict. So now what? Instead of having the “I’ll show you” reaction, ask yourself the following questions:
1. What part of the issue/conflict can I own and apologize for?
Make peace with the part you need to and own it. Apologize for it and there is a greater chance the conversation will remain calm. (Proverbs 15: 1)
2. How can I soften my heart toward this person so I honor them despite how they react?
I know this one can be challenging. Oftentimes the hurt from the other person toward you has nothing to do with you. Softening your heart makes it easier to sympathize with the hurt you don’t see thus minimizing the aggravated intensified reaction. (Proverbs 29:23)
3. If you knew the conversation was being recorded and then shared with people you greatly respect; how would that change your reaction?
In today’s world you really don’t know if you’re being recorded or not. Do you really want your aggravated intensified reaction on display for the world to see? Even if the conversation was never recorded, somebody saw/heard your reaction. Do you want your reaction to be a stumbling block to self or the other woman? (Philippians 4:5)
With all that being said. No two conflicts are the same and they all encompass unknown variables. The point I want to iterate is we want to be cognizant of our reactions in the short term so we don’t live in “reaction regret” in the long term.
PEARLStoPONDER: Conflicts will occur in life. What’s your reaction to conflict?
James 1:19-20--- 19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
